TOPIC: Gray Jedi Order: Book One Synopsis (EARLY CUT)

Well, I'm finally breaking down and doing it.

I started writing this trilogy after I realized that I didn't actually have a personification in the Star Wars universe. So, I created one. His name was Eddlyss, a pun on the word 'endless,' obviously. He was cold, cynical and protected a broken heart and shattered emotions with the blades of his lightsabers.

So, now I had a character. But there were so many questions that I'd failed to answer. How did he become like this? Will he ever be happy?

He was a baseless character, and I'd intended for this series to rectify the problems his character had in terms of personality and such. Unfortunately, it ended up being more fanfictiony and plot-holey than the original character was. Though a lot of the parts from the following books are very good as well as the premise of this one being decent, there are so many troublesome spots that I may end up re-writing the whole thing. Eddlyss is a Mary Sue even before starting apprenticeship under who else, but Luke Skywalker, and characters have no motives for their behaviors. Things kind of just happen. Even the timeline is all screwed up (makes it hard to RP with people when the time period your OC is in doesn't even exist).

This is that original script. I share it here because I want feedback on what things are working and what aren't (or if I should just retcon all the details and start fresh), without losing my ideas to greedy story-grubbers.

There will be spoilers for my final product here, if minimal.

Without further ado, Star Wars: Gray Jedi Order Episode One: The Anomic's Tale.


Eddlyss is a Silver Knight, a member of the Gray Jedi Order with a troubling past of betrayal, death and heartbreak. The Anomic’s Tale is his recording of his life up to that point in the present, covering his transformation from a hopeful and promising youngling in the New Jedi Order to a powerful and passionate Jedi Padawan under the direction of Luke Skywalker to a rebellious yet open-minded Gray Knight after he leaves the Jedi Order to search for an escaped dark side apprentice and answers, and finally into a stoic and cynical Silver Knight whose heart has been broken by evil and love.

This involves Eddlyss leaving the Order to seek an escaped darkside apprentice, as well as answers to questions that his Master, Luke Skywalker, refuses to tell him; moreover, he wants to know the truth behind a supposed Sith Lord attack on the Temple, where a man named Darth Cathylk and his apprentice Oryonn tried to break into the Archives for information stored in a certain few Jedi Holocrons, and ended up kidnapping Eddlyss’ best friend, Garsis (Garsis ends up escaping the supposed Sith Lord, who wanted to bring him to the Gray Jedi, and accidentally left his son behind. Garsis eventually escapes and falls to the dark side, escaping to a backwater world and training his darkside powers). Eddlyss first travels to the taverns and shadows of criminal space, and gains the information he needs from space crooks. He learns that to find a single person in a massive galaxy, he needs the help of the galaxy’s greatest hunter: Boba Fett. He searches Coruscant and ends up teaming up with Boba Fett, now an aging yet lithe Republic hero and less of a bounty hunter, though still firmly believing in his Mandalorian heritage and still owning all of his old equipment. Eddlyss’ ship is destroyed, and thus the ex-Jedi travels with Fett to try and find the darkside apprentice. However, Slave I is captured by a gang of space pirates with a bounty on Fett’s head (for a change). The pirates also happened to catch the boy Oryonn, however Fett and the two young men escape, with Fett leaving alone, and Eddlyss and Oryonn in a small beaten down transport. The boys argue incessantly, but they eventually realize that they want the same thing: answers.

They are ultimately captured again, but this time by a small cruiser that the boys sense has a lot of Force sensitives aboard. The cruiser takes them to a planet on the Outer Rim, the headquarters of the Gray Jedi Order. The ex-Jedi and darkside user are on edge until an encounter with Darth Cathylk, Oryonn’s father and a Silver Knight. Eddlyss finally gets answers as to why the duo attacked the Temple and what happened to his friend, Garsis. Realizing that there is nothing left for him with the Jedi, he joins the ranks of the Gray Jedi as a Gray Knight with Oryonn. They meet their new mentor, Ortensa, and go on many missions together, learning things that Skywalker would never have taught him. However, Eddlyss doesn’t realize that with his growing ambition, he is slowly going away from the Force.

His final Gray Knight mission has him and Oryonn heading to an old droid foundry on Geonosis to destroy it. However, they encounter Eddlyss’ love from the Jedi Order, Saedi, who has left the Order to try and find Eddlyss, but ended up lost and confused without the Order. Eddlyss decides to take her back with them to the Gray Jedi, but prior to the detonation of the foundry, they encounter Garsis, now known as Talos Ren. Talos informs Eddlyss that the Order and the Republic are on the verge of collapse, and challenges his old friend to a duel to prove himself as a newly christened member of the Knights of Ren. Eddlyss accepts, asking Oryonn to lead Saedi to safety, which Oryonn does (though Saedi turns back at the sound of Eddlyss’ defeat later on). The two friends turned enemies fight, and they are evenly matched until Talos begins to fight dirty, causing Eddlyss to lose one of his lightsabers and receive multiple injuries. Eddlyss lays on the battle’s metal catwalk, too exhausted to go on, with Talos standing before him, prepared to kill. However, Saedi appears and Force-throws Talos back, causing the Knight of Ren to strike out with Sith Lightning at Saedi, which tortures her to death over Eddlyss’ head. Eddlyss crawls to his love and holds her in her final moments of life. With a final engagement, Talos lunges at Eddlyss, which he dodges, running Talos Ren through with Saedi’s lightsaber. Talos is shocked from the pain and momentarily comes back to the light before falling to his death off the catwalk. Eddlyss, his heart broken by Saedi’s death and the loss of his old best friend, takes her body and lightsaber and carries her outside, giving her a proper Jedi burial but keeping her saber. The two Gray Jedi return to their HQ and are rewarded with the full title of Silver Knight. At this point, the Jedi Order has become corrupt, and the First Order is in its fledgling state. Luke has gone to recruit new Jedi, and in his absence the Jedi Order has been destroyed by a mysterious new force of dark power.

That's an interesting synopsis! Are hoping for feedback on the synopsis, or just the content itself once posted?

@Borommakot, I'd like feedback, and a lot of it. I don't feel as good about this as I did when I was younger, and it's far too plot hole ridden and downright troublesome for my tastes. Maybe it's not so bad, but it doesn't look that way to me.

It's not horrible as a first draft/outline, though the Knights of Ren bit at the end felt a little bit "tacked this on at the last minute because the cannon changed".

I think the important thing for fanfic is internal consistency. If you wrote it before TFA came out, then finish it with that mindset. It doesn't have to be consistent with cannon, as long as it stands on its own.
Watch some fanfilms (and not just SW, but other franchises you might be familiar enough with), some of the best of them are clearly not cannon, but still stand on their own.

If you do want to keep the Knights of Ren in the story, I would keep them in mind when you're writing the next draft, just so it doesn't feel tacked on. (Though to be fair, since they are a very new and for now still fairly unknown quantity, that may be unavoidable.)

As far as it being "fanwank-y", I think to an extent it's almost unavoidable in a first draft. And with SW it's less noticeable, because (if are going for at least a pseudo-cannonical feel) for a while Luke Skywalker was the only Jedi, so it makes sense to have him at least begin your training.

Overall I'd say it's a promising enough start.

Thanks for the help, Roger Redux. Makes me feel a lot better about the initial addition of the Knights of Ren, the First Order and how what has happened in TFA ties into what follows Legacy. If you're curious, I don't intend to change the entire story based on what happens in Episodes VIII and IX like I did here with TFA.

I do have all three synopses done, so I can post them here. Otherwise if anyone has a Google account, I can PM you the link to the whole document on Google Docs if you want to help.

I should say, first, that I tend to steer clear of uses of canon characters (and often events), because of how difficult it is for most writers to capture the character accurately, and the tendency of clashing between canon and fanfiction settings.

That said, I don't think it's particularly out of place or Mary Sue for Eddlyss to have been trained by Luke, as during Luke's age, he's all there was to train new Jedi. But my suspension of disbelief is strained both by the idea that Luke, having been basically lied to by Ben and Yoda, would withhold the truth, and the idea that concurrent with Luke's budding order and the developing Knights of Ren, a whole other Order of Jedi exists.

On the first point, note that this is just an impression from the synopsis, and I don't reject out of hand the possibility that Luke could be given a very good reason to keep secrets from his students. This would be a situation on which the accuracy of Luke's portrayal would stand or fall.

Regarding the second point, this is only an issue if you're setting out to make a story that could fit into canon. If not, however, the divergence would be best established clearly, and early on.

I don't feel exactly the same as Roger regarding the use of the Knights of Ren, but I do think it's worth careful consideration whether it's worth it to introduce yet another faction after dealing with Jedi, Gray Jedi, and Sith (as well as the Republic). It would probably necessitate mentioning the First Order, too, making it two factions for the price of one, but that's largely subjective, based on how one feels the First Order relates to the Knights of Ren and vice versa.

These observations have been largely subjective, but I do have one more that is entirely opinion and that is that I think the characterization of Luke's Jedi Order as corrupt strikes me solely as a way to establish the Gray Jedi as morally superior. In doing so, Luke's legacy as a Grandmaster is marred, besides being destroyed by the First Order/Knights.

Based on the synopsis, the plot beats of the story are well paced, and the flow feels natural as it builds to the climax. The original characters sound compelling, and I'd be excited to learn more about them. All in all, the story sounds like an intense and interesting read, though, and I hope you'll share the other synopses/the full story here as well!

Thanks for your input, Borom!

I've read half of the Legacy EU saga (wiki'ed the rest ) as well as done some major analysis on Luke's character and evolution in ROTJ, and I feel somewhat satisfied on how my portrayal of him is turning out in the rough draft. That said, Boba Fett (who has a fairly large part in the first installment) was characterized more on how I thought he'd be after the events of the second Legacy book than his personality in that story.

To clarify a few things, the story takes place after the events of Lecagy and the Darth Caedus saga. Luke is running a New Jedi Order with many EU reps. The answers that Eddlyss seeks from Luke are not so much the existence of another Order, but information about Eddlyss' father, which will be revealed in the second book (yes, I'm doing that Star Wars thing).

Originally (before the events of TFA), I did intend for this to replace the end of Luke's life where he goes off with Ben to determine why Jacen went to the Dark Side (in the EU). However, now that the EU is non-canon anyways, it's now replacing the events of the next two Star Wars movies; The First Order wins, Kylo Ren completes his training and the Resistance is far smaller. The factions aren't really a big part of the story, with the biggest ones being the Sith and the Arc's Hand (get into that later), the First Order and the Gray Jedi itself. It's all about Eddlyss carving his own path and learning what it means to use the Force in its entirety.

Also, the New Jedi Order becomes corrupted after Luke leaves to recruit more Jedi (leading to the creation of the Knights of Ren), the deaths of many important Jedi figures and its eventual disbandment after being destroyed by the mystery Sith forces.

Thanks for your belief in my story, buddy. I'm looking forward to posting the next book's synopsis!

Here we go again.

It should be noted that this is my favorite of this trilogy. I feel like this one, while still having many fanboyish aspects (there's a really big one right at the end), is the one that really starts to develop this character that I dreamed up. This is my Empire Strikes Back, and it shows. While not quite being the darkest of the trilogy (the next and final one takes that prize), this second installment has Eddlyss as a confused and emotional protagonist, mirroring a young version of his Master, Luke. Also, a somewhat obvious plot point is coming. If you've seen ESB (which I'm sure you have) and if you know Star Wars (which you darn well better!), you'll see this coming a mile away.

So we've got this Silver Knight named Eddlyss. He's got a backstory, so to speak, but there are tons of plotholes. Who is Eddlyss' father? What is the new dark force killing off Jedi and poisoning the NJO (remember, by the end of the first book Luke had left the Order, so the Knights of Ren aren't really a threat yet despite their definite existence by the four year timeskip between Eddlyss joining the GJO and the end of Book One)? The truth begins to reveal itself in Book Two, however it leads only to more mysteries. Ironically, this is also the book that we learn Eddlyss' last name of Arceane, a pun on the word 'arcane' meaning 'mysterious'. Eddlyss' life is one giant and endless mystery, and it draws him away from the Force. It should also be noted that this is my favorite of this trilogy. Without further ado:

GJO: The Hand of Malevolence (There WILL be spoilers for my trilogy!!)

Newly christened Silver Knight Eddlyss and his best friend Oryonn travel to an icy planet once used by droid manufacturers and most recently the Galactic Empire. Their mission to destroy the droid foundries is halted by the native’s of the planet, an icy tribe of warriors led by a mysterious Force-user named Sheekla and his heiress, Nagini. Upon their capture, Eddlyss convinces Nagini that Sheekla is up to no good, and his heart begins to thaw its perpetual cold as he slowly falls in love with the young heiress. Upon escape from the tribe with Nagini, Eddlyss realizes that the girl is a Force-adept and begins to try and train her to no avail. His frustration builds into an unintentional wall between him and Nagini, forcing him further away from others.

As the trio destroys the main droid foundry, they are ambushed by Sheekla, who is revealed to be an old friend of Eddlyss’ father and was betrayed by him. Because of this, Eddlyss spares his life in their duel in return for information on his father, whom he sought since his departure from the Jedi Order. Sheekla reveals that Eddlyss’ father had disappeared after betraying the Imperial Knights, an Empire-tilted group up until the rise of Palpatine. Moreso, Sheekla had loved Eddlyss’ mother, whom his father had killed out of jealousy for his mother’s lack of love for his father. Eddlyss is enraged and shattered at these revelations and staggers off to be alone.

Meanwhile, Cathylk, Oryonn’s father and a darkside inclined Silver Knight, is interrogated and tortured before an unknown Sith Lord before being impaled by the Sith’s wrist mounted lightsabers. The Sith directs his apprentice to hunt down the son of Jedi Knight Arceane, which the apprentice obliges.

Back on the planet, Eddlyss and Oryonn agree to take one of Sheekla’s ships, as theirs were destroyed. Sheekla would destroy the remaining foundries. Before their departure, Nagini tries to tell Eddlyss about her feelings for him, but she is shot down by the cold Knight, whose emotions are still so tattered that he can’t stand to leave another person he loves. Nagini gives back the saber that Eddlyss let her have (Saedi’s saber) and storms off in despair, leaving Eddlyss in worse shape than before. He and Oryonn depart, with Eddlyss trying but failing to Force meditate, fearing that his connection with the Force was being severed by his own indifference to the light and dark. The two Silver Knights realize they are being followed by a stealth fighter, so they stop on a nearby planet to try and lose their pursuer. However, they are captured by the planet’s defensive forces and are forced to try and hide. Within an abandoned factory, the two Knights are cornered by their pursuer, who reveals himself to be a Sith Lord and the father of Eddlyss Arceane. With this new information, Eddlyss tells Oryonn to escape without him, and he engages the Sith Lord, who uses a blue crossguard.

Despite Eddlyss’ strength and skill from years of training, the Sith Lord far surpasses the boy’s skill, destroying one of his lightsabers and giving him multiple wounds. However, rather than killing the Knight, the Sith Lord leaves him alive, saying that to see him alive and suffering is better than for him to die and go to the Force, but then he states that Eddlyss is so disconnected from the Force that he likely wouldn’t even go to the Force, confirming Eddlyss’ fears. Eddlyss escapes and disappears, forcing Oryonn to leave the planet without him. Oryonn sees the surge of the First Order, the rise of the Resistance and the destruction of the Core Worlds. He returns to the Gray Jedi, who are preparing to go into hiding and fight back against the First Order.

Meanwhile, Eddlyss wakes up in a dark room with his cuts and wounds either patched up or healed through the Force. He meets a girl named Muríto, who apparently found him unconscious in an alleyway and brought him home to be healed. Eddlyss has full intentions to return to the Gray Jedi, but his own vulnerability and weakness as well as Muríto’s forceful insistence keeps him in bed and resting. Days pass, and Eddlyss gets steadily better with the girl’s care. He begins talking to her more often, and gradually he opens up to her, telling her his emotional turmoil and disconnection with the Force. Eddlyss realizes that the only way to redeem himself is to return to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant; however, Muríto tells him that Coruscant along with the other Core Worlds have been destroyed by the First Order to cripple the Resistance and crush the New Republic. Eddlyss realizes that if this was true, then the Jedi Holocrons and all knowledge of the Jedi were destroyed forever. Yet he realizes too that there were other ancient source of information that he could use, and one of them was a Jedi Temple on Tatooine. However, before he can act upon this, Muríto’s apartment is raided by Stormtrooper look alikes in navy blue armor similar to that of the 501st. Eddlyss escapes the apartment with Muríto and travels undercover to a hangar bay, where he is forced to leave his new friend behind and steal a last generation T-60 X-Wing. As he travels to Tatooine, he tries to contact the Gray Jedi, but gets only static and fears the worst. As he enters hyperspace, he tries and fails once more to enter a Force meditation.

Upon arrival at Tatooine, he realizes that he has come full circle; he was home. Eddlyss lands in the middle of a plain and reaches out with the Force to try and find the Temple, which works to his surprise. He flies low to a half-buried hovel on the outskirts of a trading city. Upon entering the Temple, he finds that it is not a Temple at all, but the home of Obi-Wan Kenobi during his self-imposed exile on the planet. Eddlyss believes that this is his best chance to connect with the Force, and so he tries to meditate once more. This time, he feels the presence of the Force, bit it is dark and cold, as though he was delving into the Dark Side. Fearful, the Knight tries to search for the light but finds only darkness and malevolence...until he opens his eyes to see Qui-Gon Jinn. Eddlyss immediately begs the deceased Gray Jedi for help, but Qui-Gon says that there is nothing he can do. Before Eddlyss despairs, however, Qui-Gon says that there is a Jedi who can. The Force ghost disappears, though Eddlyss can still feel Qui-Gon with him. Suddenly, a voice says that Eddlyss is not ready. The Knight turns to see a man cloaked in ancient battle armor and wearing the mask of a Mandalorian. The man introduces himself as Revan, and states that he was once in Eddlyss’ shoes, teetering on the edge between light and dark. However, Revan says that he was unable to best the power of the dark side the first time, and became a Sith Lord. Yet he redeemed himself through sheer willpower and became a master of both sides of the Force. Eddlyss asks how he can return to the light and to the Force. Revan said that it nearly destroyed him to go from light to dark and back, and although Eddlyss was not consumed by the dark side as he was, the task would still be excruciating and may kill the Knight. Revan would thus put trials before Eddlyss, and act as his Master for a time, to become a free spirited user and follower of the Force. His first test would be to free himself from the darkness that clawed at his heart, to which Eddlyss accepts the challenge. Eddlyss delves deep into himself, searching for his deepest fears. Almost immediately he is wracked with excruciating pain both physical and mental as he watches friends and everyone he loves dying before his eyes, only feeling their pain along with his own, every attempt to fight the pain only making it worse. As his father prepares to strike him down with his lightsaber, Eddlyss nearly breaks of exhaustion and agony. But then he remembers his love for his friends, his faith in himself and in them, his faith in the Force...and suddenly, the fear and pain leaves him, his father’s blade evaporates to dust, and he opens his eyes sprawled on his knees on the floor of Kenobi’s hovel. He feels more exhaustion than ever in his life, but he can’t help but smile when Revan says that he has passed his first trial, and that his training begins now.

Thoughts, comments, criticisms, anything! Your help is appreciated!

Well, it's definitely better than the first and has me wanting to read the whole thing!

Quick question: Is Revan a Force-ghost, or is has he succeeded where every Sith Lord ever failed and is now immortal?

Thanks for the input man!

No, I decided to hold my fanboy self in just a bit in that regard. Revan is a Force-ghost. Since he basically became an embodiment of the Force itself in his later life, he more or less subconsciously gained that ability (headcanon alert lol!).

Another thing: Eddlyss' timeline seems to me to be unfocused and screwy. I'll attempt to rectify that now.

As usual: SPOILERS FOR MY STORY BEYOND THIS POINT!!

Five Years Before Legacy Saga: Eddlyss is born on Tatooine
One Year After Legacy Saga: Eddlyss (age 6) goes with Luke Skywalker to Coruscant and the Jedi Order
*timeskip*
Three Years After Legacy Saga, Beginning of Book One: Eddlyss (age 8 ) duels his soon to be best friend, Garsis (age 10)
*timeskip*
Twelve Years After Legacy Saga: Eddlyss (age 19) begins events of Book One (leaving Order, Boba Fett, joins GJO, etc.)
*timeskip* (Mysterious forces picking off Jedi, Luke leaves to train new generation, creation of Knights of Ren, NJO falls, slow rise of First Order) (training of Eddlyss and Oryonn)
Sixteen Years After Legacy Saga: Eddlyss (age 23) ends events of Book One, begins events of Book Two, ends events of Book Two
*timeskip* Knights of Ren, First Order take power
Seventeen Years After Legacy Saga: Eddlyss (age 24) begins and ends events of Book Three

Seems to be plotting a pretty interesting course for your character, Eddlyss, I dig. It raises some interesting questions in terms of why Eddlyss' father is in the state he is, and what the end result for Eddlyss will be.

Is there a description in the book of what exactly this process is that he experiences with Revan? What is it about what he's doing that causes him pain? This scene is given in the context that Eddlyss is/was being consumed by the dark side; are there instances of that seen in the full text that aren't mentioned here?

Thanks for the support, Borom!

These synopses were more or less a way for me to record my thoughts over the whole trilogy, and as such I leave out things that my brain thinks are obvious (I never really intended to share this story until after it was finished, or at least drafted properly ).

The 'First Trial' with Revan pits Eddlyss against not only the physical and mental pain he's endured over the past four years, but through the Force he's actually feeling the pain of everyone that he feels he has failed along the way. It's Revan's way of teaching him how to return to the Force, and it's the hard way.

Eddlyss' problem is that he's actually losing his connection to the Force as he becomes mentally cold and isolated. This leads to a fear of falling to the Dark Side (which, of course, draws the Dark Side toward him, as it feeds off of fear and self-turmoil). With his connection to the Force failing, his skills as a Jedi are also beginning to fail him as he becomes more and more mentally distraught.

Like I said, it's unclear here because I knew what had to happen; I just didn't know how. I'd put in the details when I actually wrote the thing.

Well, here we are. The third of the GJO Trilogy is personally the most conflicting for me. There are some plotholes that still need to be solved by the end of it, and a ton of questions remain unanswered. But that's okay, because this is just a rough cut of the story. I hope to fix these issues by the time I actually get this far in writing, if I get this far.

Star Wars: Gray Jedi Order Book Three: The Maverick's Fate. SPOILERS FOR MY STORY FOLLOW!!

In the fateful conclusion to the Gray Jedi Trilogy, Eddlyss comes to terms with what it means to be a Force-user who walks the line between light and dark, and prepares to face his father once more.

Now six months after the events of the last book, the galaxy has been plunged once more into chaos and corruption. The New Jedi Order is nothing more than a memory, and the destruction of the New Republic is merely a disturbing dream. The Resistance has been either quelled down or dispelled entirely, and Kylo Ren is the new Darth Vader, his training in the dark side complete. Moreso, a dark force has appeared to rival the First Order, with Eddlyss’ father, Darth Arkus, at the helm, and his Master in the shadows. The Gray Jedi have retreated into hiding, and the First Order controls everything.

The story begins in a small trading town in Deskar, a desert planet riddled with poverty. A boy is being chased down by a Stormtrooper. The boy is cornered by two troopers and they begin to beat him, but a man in a dark gray cloak leaps from the roof and cuts down the troopers with a green lightsaber. The man helps up the boy, who says that Stormtroopers were destroying the markets and getting ready to ambush a group of smugglers bringing precious goods to the village. The man tells the boy to find his family and hide, and he travels to the town’s market, where troopers are destroying the markets and preparing an anti-air turbolaser turret, as the boy had predicted. He entered their line of sight immediately, and drew and ignited green and blue lightsabers, tearing the troopers apart without batting an eye and destroying the half-completed turbolaser with a single swing of his saber. The people of the village are shocked and amazed at the sight of a Jedi before them, but he merely tells them that it is safe and begins to help repair the damages inflicted by the stormtroopers.

As the villagers pitch in around him (slowly, as they are still in awe) the man senses the approach of the smuggler’s ship, which lands safely thanks to his ‘preparation’. The ship’s crew begins unloading the precious goods, and the man finds the ship’s captain. He says that he requires a lift off the planet as his own ship was destroyed, saying that his destination is a rock called Altrich-3 and that he can pay handsomely. The captain, however, realizing that this man had saved the villagers as well as his own skin from the First Order, rejects the money and says he’ll do it for free. The man thanks the captain and climbs aboard. The man enters a vacant sleeping quarters and pulls off his hood, revealing himself to be Eddlyss. The young man pulls out a comm and tries once more to contact the Gray Jedi as he’d been trying for months, but gets only static. Eddlyss stows away the comm and sighs as the freighter takes off and blasts into the sky.

Meanwhile, Darth Arkus reports to his Master, saying that the Ark’s Hand of stormtroopers (similar to 501st) had successfully taken control of the Malgus Asteroid Belt. His Master asks if the Gray Jedi Order had been found, but he is met with a no. Arkus’ Master makes to lash out at his apprentice, but he suddenly is wracked with surprising pain and staggers backwards. When he is righted, Arkus asks what happened, to which his Master replies that he had felt a powerful surge of Force energy, one he had only heard of in legends and felt through holocrons, the power of a long dead Force-user. Arkus suggests that perhaps it was caused by Arceane’s son, and continues that although he was likely dead, he could be alive. However, his Master scoffs at this, saying that the boy’s energy was not anything like that of the man that he feared. Nevertheless, he sends Darth Arkus to hunt down the boy once more, telling him that he must be ended, or Arkus will die.

Back with Eddlyss, the ship has dropped the ex-Jedi off on Altrich-3, a small planet of rocky formations. The ex-Jedi makes his way into a cavern far from where the smugglers dropped him off, a cavern that is actually the entrance to a hidden Jedi Temple. Eddlyss cautiously picks his way down into the Temple, and makes good headway through the rubble until a single man points a blaster pistol at him, ordering him to stop. The ex-Jedi turns to see a Mandalorian, helmetless and with a face scarred by war. The Mandalorian questions the young ex-Jedi, seeing if he was sent to kill him. Eddlyss replies that he has no intentions of fighting the warrior, and it might even benefit the both of them to team up considering they were both members of extinct species. The Mandalorian couldn’t argue with this point, holstering his blaster and introducing himself as Secross.

The ex-Jedi and the Mandalorian travel through deeper into the Temple, with Secross explaining his past and Eddlyss explaining his reason for arriving on the planet: a Holocron said to contain the secrets of long dead Jedi and Sith Masters. The two loners come to a circular area, with an elevated path leading to an inner chamber. Secross notices various weapons scattered around the clearing, and the shadows are filled with skeletons. Eddlyss senses long dead Force-users, inferring that there was a battle that no one won. Secross questions what did win when Eddlyss ignites a lightsaber and throws it at an ancient combat droid in the shadows, calling it back to him. About a dozen more heavily armed and armored combat droids appeared, which the ex-Jedi and Mandalorian retreat from with a Force jump and jetpack into the chamber. A massive wall blocks the chamber, which Eddlyss opens with the Force. In the middle of the room is the Holocron, glowing blue. Eddlyss takes the Holocron and the two loners return outside, where the combat droids are forming up. Secross draws his blaster, but Eddlyss says that Tibanna gas would be ineffective against the droids, and he hands the Mandalorian Garsis’ old lightsaber. The two loners leap into the fray cutting through the droid plating, though barely escaping with their lives to the surface.

With the Holocron in their possession, Secross leads the way to his ship and the duo takes off to a refueling station. Eddlyss immediately tries to activate the Holocron, and though he exerts great Force strength, he is unable to open it. As he struggles, a voice behind him says that he won’t be able to open it. Eddlyss turns to see his Master, Revan, in the form of a Force ghost. Revan says that the Holocron is a case sensitive device and must be opened by a Jedi or Sith. Eddlyss questions where he can find such a being, since the Jedi were all but extinct and no Sith Lord would help him. But Revan avoids his question, saying only that his future was shrouded in more pain and darkness than he had ever experienced, and that he must have the strength to survive. With that, Revan vanishes as Secross appears, saying that their ship was about to exit hyperspace.

The duo lands and exits their ship to get it refueled, and almost immediately Eddlyss senses a massive disturbance in the Force. Before he can warn his new Mandalorian comrade, however, a blaster bolt goes through Secross’ head, instantly killing him. Eddlyss ignites his sabers and whirls to see the 501st look-alikes swarming out of a nearby hangar and surrounding the ex-Jedi, who deactivates his sabers and puts them away, signifying his surrender. Out steps Darth Arkus, who steps up to his son and faces him. Rather than cowering as he might have before, Eddlyss merely sneers at his father’s eyes turned yellow by Sith ways. The ex-Jedi shakes his head asking what his father has become, to which his father replies with ‘more than you could be’. He extends his hand for Eddlyss’ lightsabers, but Eddlyss instead gives him the Holocron. Arkus looks confused until the ex-Jedi says that all the information Arkus could want to defeat his Master (as is the way of the Sith) and take his place is stored in the Holocron. Arkus asks why he won’t just use it, and Eddlyss replies that only a Jedi or Sith can open it, and he is neither. The Sith Lord is shocked to hear the phrase (nearly identical to the words of Revan). Arkus pockets the Holocron and calls for the Arc’s Hand to return to the ship, saying Eddlyss will come with as a prisoner.

As the troops head back, one breaks rank and throws off his helmet when he sees Secross’ dead body, running to it and kneeling next to it. Arkus yells for the trooper (known as GS-2264) to return, but the trooper rejects the order, saying that he wants to mourn the brother that he’d just killed. Instead of yelling further orders, Arkus merely gestures for a handful of troopers to make a firing squad and kill the trooper. However, as the half circle of troopers fires, Eddlyss charges in with his lightsaber and deflects the bolts into the air. Arkus merely shrugs and continues onto the ship as the would be firing squad slowly backs into formation. Eddlyss turns to the trooper GS-2264, who watched in shock as his own men fired on him, and then a lightside Force user saved him. Eddlyss recommends the name Garrus as he clips his saber and goes willingly into the transport. Inside, his wrists are bound as he stands behind Arkus, whom he proceeds to belittle with troubling conversation until Eddlyss is sent to a holding cell. Arkus immediately goes to his quarters and activates the Holocron.

The ship travels to a planet covered in swirling red clouds and mountains. Eddlyss is retrieved and stands with Arkus at the main hatchway. The ex-Jedi is uncertain for the first time, and asks their location, which Arkus replies Moraband, the ancient homeworld of the Sith. The ship lands on a plain next to a massive red mountain, and the troops file out with Arkus and Eddlyss (shackled) in front. The group of troopers goes to a barrack, however GS-2264 is to be brought with to the Sith Master. The trio takes an elevator to the top floor of the mountain fortress, a large chamber tinted red from the floor vents.

On a massive throne sits the Sith Master, an old, dangerous looking man with yellowed hair and glowing green eyes. Eddlyss is thrust before the Sith, and his leg is kicked out beneath him to bring him to his knees. However, he gets up and glares defiantly at the Sith Lord, who smirks and has him step aside. Finally he comes to the trooper, who has a false look of meekness. The Sith Master after learning that he disobeyed an order, has him step back and then strikes at him with Force Lightning, repeatedly stopping and restarting. However, the trooper refuses to plead for mercy. The Sith Lord intensifies his attack, but his hands begin to smoke and he stops at the smell of burning flesh (Eddlyss was using his mental Force abilities to project a Force field over the trooper and rebounding the energy back into the Sith Lord; not enough to deflect all the pain, but enough to make the Sith feel the energy on his end). However, the trooper doesn’t know what happened, and thus the Sith Lord has Arkus step forward to cut down the trooper. However, Eddlyss breaks from his bonds and deflects his father’s strike with his own lightsaber at the last second. He asks if his father has any light left in him, which his father replies that he didn’t need the light anymore.

With that, Eddlyss draws his other saber and fights Arkus. Throughout the entire duel it is clear that Eddlyss has the edge, as he belittles his father for falling to the dark side so willingly. Arkus begins to fight sloppily as his anger begins to blind him, and Eddlyss eventually overpowers his father with the use of Force Lightning and cuts off his dominant hand, sending his lightsaber flying. However, he leaves his father alive rather than killing him, and turns to the Sith Lord, whose face is livid with fear and shock (the words Eddlyss had been saying were almost exactly like those spoken by Revan, the ancient Force-user whom the Sith Lord fears). The Sith Lord ignites his wrist blades and draws a saber shoto and leaps at Eddlyss in fury and rash terror, but Eddlyss easily fends off the old warrior, disarming him almost immediately and uses the Force to send his foe into a wall.

Eddlyss steps up to his foe, his sabers poised to kill, giving the Sith no chance for repentance. However, a blaster bolt goes through the ex-Jedi’s leg, taking him down. Arkus used the Force to level Garrus’ blaster at Eddlyss, but couldn’t aim for his torso. However, the Sith merely attacks with Force Lightning, which Eddlyss barely deflects with his sabers (goes for long time, begins to pound into him and scar the sides of his face and his knuckles).

Meanwhile, Garrus is recovering, and sees one of Eddlyss’ lightsabers (Garsis) knocked free during the duel. Arkus notices the trooper, and uses the Force to regain his lightsaber and turns to kill Garrus. However, Garrus uses his wrist grapple to grab the lightsaber and throw it to Eddlyss, who catches it in his teeth to ignite it and slash upward across the Sith Lord, who collapses. Eddlyss catches himself on his damaged legs and looks up just in time to see his father about to strike Garrus down. With his remaining strength, he throws his lightsaber at his father, cutting his head off. Eddlyss collapses as Garrus tries to help him...and he opens his eyes in a sea of white. His wounds have disappeared, and there are no lightsabers with him. He gets up and sees the ghostly forms of Revan, Qui-Gon Jinn and two other Force-users who identify as Obi-Wan Kenobi and Master Yoda. Revan explains that Eddlyss is not dead, though he was close to it. Darth Arkus was dead, as he rejected the balance of the Force. Yoda says that he has become powerful with the Force, enough to rival himself as well as Revan. Obi-Wan says that his destiny is now complete, to defeat the rising Sith menace. Eddlyss asks if Luke was there, which Obi-Wan replies that he is still alive, but in hiding. Eddlyss then asks about Saedi, his dead love, and Revan steps aside to reveal the young ex-Jedi. The two embrace, and Eddlyss asks what happens next. Qui-Gon says that with the young man’s mastery of the Force, he could allow himself to die and become with the Force like these were. But Eddlyss remembers the Sith Lord, and asks if he still lives, which Revan replies that yes, he survived purely on the power of the dark side and intended to wage war on the First Order, kill Snoke and rule the galaxy with or without an apprentice. Eddlyss believes he must go back, and despite Revan’s warning that it his not his destiny to defeat Darth Khelzer, he approves of Eddlyss’ return. Obi-Wan says he will appear to Luke and inform him of the situation. Revan says that they through the Force will be with him, and thus Eddlyss returns to the living world, and is immediately in residual pain from the Lightning and his leg healing. Garrus realizes he’s alive and begins to laugh, but Eddlyss immediately looks to where the Sith had laid, and notices that he is gone. He says that they need a ship, and Garrus replies that that can be arranged.

Meanwhile, the Sith Lord is hastily patched up with new armor and partially dunked in bacta to start his wounds healing, and the troops begin deployment to the First Order base. Kylo Ren, now a powerful darkside Force-user, was ordering his troops to prepare for an assault on a Resistance concentration in Hutt Space when a dozen troop transports emblazoned with the old Imperial insignia landed. The Sith Lord steps out, and Kylo goes to meet him. The Sith Lord introduces himself as Darth Khelzer, and states that the First Order was now under the control of the new Sith Empire. Kylo Ren merely scoffs and engages the Sith, who waves his hand before delving into the fight, calling for his Arc Troopers to engage the First Order Stormtroopers. The battle raged on for many moments until the sudden arrival of X-Wing fighters soaring through the sky (the Resistance), blasting away at the First Order and the Arc’s Hand alike. At the controls of the lead X-Wing was Luke Skywalker himself, who took to dogfighting as he commanded his squad. Suddenly another ship appeared, one clad in illegal armors, weapons and bolstered by powerful shields and boosters. From this craft leapt Eddlyss into the battle, facing the two darksiders who stopped their fight to see a new foe. Next to Eddlyss fell Skywalker. The Jedi and ex-Jedi ignited their lightsabers and engaged their foes, with Eddlyss battling the now calm and far more dangerous Darth Khelzer and Luke taking on his old apprentice Kylo Ren.

As the battle rages, the two light-inclined Force users are equally matched with their darkside nemeses, but they are tiring. The battle continues, and though the fight is even, Eddlyss begins to tire and lose focus. The turning point comes at a bladelock with Khelzer. Eddlyss is attempting to regain his focus when Skywalker, exhausted from his duel with Kylo Ren, is finally struck down by the fallen prodigy. Eddlyss abandons the fight and stays with his old master in his dying moments, and in his fury he takes on both darkside users at once. However, he is quickly defeated and is simultaneously struck by Khelzer’s Force Lightning and choked by Kylo Ren’s Force grip. However, before he succumbs to death, Khelzer and Kylo scream in shock and drop their victim. Eddlyss turns to see two beings, armed with lightsabers. They approach, and one kneels to check on Skywalker. Realizing he is dead, the shorter one stands and follows his companion. As they glance down at the ex-Jedi’s crippled form, memories flash through Eddlyss. He realizes that these are Anakin Skywalker and Revan at their primes. Anakin attacks Kylo Ren, and Revan rushes Khelzer. It is obvious that the Sith Lord and the Knight of Ren are far outmatched. However, Eddlyss passes out from pain before the fight can be completed (switch to 3rd person narrative for the rest of fight? Write out?) He wakes up to Revan ensuring his safety, informing him that the battle is over, and Snoke had been captured by the Gray Jedi Order. He stands and goes to meet his old best friend, Oryonn. Epilogue speech. (Add return to Bülgerra? Reunion with Nagini?)

Criticism and general thoughts are appreciated!

Overall, this installment is as exciting as the previous too, with some really cool sounding set pieces, and intense scenes and pacing. But you're right, there are quite a few plotholes left by the end. While we can mention them kind of broadly, here, it's naturally going to be kind of a toss up between what's actually a plothole and something that hasn't been addressed, or something that just doesn't get mention in the synopsis, but would in the actual story. So here's the questions I had:
I gotta ask, is this sort of a running gag in the trilogy? It seems like anytime a ship belonging to Eddlyss is referenced, it's because it was destroyed

Where do these Stormtroopers come from? How are they different from the troopers SW fans are familiar with?

What becomes of this Holocron? It doesn't seem to affect the plot, as Arkus doesn't seem to make any use of it, and Eddlyss never sees its contents.

Does this refer solely to the pain of battle? It doesn't seem like Eddlyss suffers significantly more in this story than he did in the previous ones, and the synopsis doesn't reference any influence of darkness on him after this.

Why is Arkus familiar with these words?

This character again raises questions about Arkus' troops. It seems to suggest their ranks are grown the same way as the First Order. If that's the case, how does he know/recognize Secross. If that's not the case, how come he doesn't already have a name? Either way, I dig the Mass Effect reference.

This duel seems to reflect that of RotJ, but RotJ has a specific purpose for the Emperor not engaging. Why doesn't Arkus' master join the battle, attempting to overwhelm Eddlyss, instead of watching in fear and shock as his apprentice is beaten?

Again, why does this Sith Lord know these specific words, and fear Revan?

It feels a little strange that Eddlyss' destiny would only be to defeat his father, who is really only a subordinate of the rising Sith menace. It might make more sense if they offered a reason why its okay, as they imply, to let the Sith Lord escape.

I would definitely suggest a more detailed conclusion. I wondered why Anakin wasn't present with the other Force Ghosts Eddlyss met during his near-death experience. I wondered more how Anakin and Revan were able to physically manifest in order to fight Ren and Darth Khelzer. Given that Yoda tells Eddlyss that he rivals both Yoda and Revan in power, are we to assume that Khelzer is also that powerful? If so, what makes him so outmatched by Revan? And if not, shouldn't Eddlyss have had an easier time against him? The Gray Jedi capturing Snoke felt somewhat like the Eagles saving Sam and Frodo from Mt. Doom. Were they waiting for that all along, cutting off communication with Eddlyss to hide their movement? Otherwise, what brings them out of hiding? The end is also the first time you mention Oryonn in this synopsis; has he been with the Gray Jedi during that period? This is the first we hear of Bülgerra as well; which world is that? Can you give us an idea of how the Epilogue speech would play out?

Thanks once more for your support, Borom!

On Eddlyss' ships getting destroyed, I guess I never really noticed until you said something. I can definitely make it a thing!

The Ark's Hand (a big plothole) were originally deserters of the First Order. However, I realized that it was next to impossible for there to be that as many AH stormtroopers as there are. At this point, they are a sort of 'secret police' that work for the Sith with the promise of justice for the small, chaotic worlds that the First Order overlooks. New recruits are adults, who lose their name and get a number. Other than that, they're basically just like any other elite stromtrooper or clone faction we've seen before.

The Holocron (another big plothole) was more or less thrown in to move along the plot. I actually want to write it out of the story, but then I'd have to figure out a better way for Eddlyss and Secross to meet and ally.

The Revan vision. Again, another thing I might remove. My original thought must've been the pain of having to kill his own father, but that doesn't really affect Eddlyss as much as it was intended to. Maybe stay, maybe go.

Arkus' familiarity with Revan's words. This was a thing where Darth Khelzer, Arkus' Master, actually had an encounter with Revan at some point, either through Force Vision, the physical manifestation seen at the end of the book, or in real life (which would make Khelzer crazy old unless I can up with a plot point like stasis or something). Khlezer subsequently taught his apprentice everything about Revan, which is why Arkus too knows this.

GS-2264 and Secross. Again, the Ark's Hand is a 'secret police' of sorts, where 'they givin' you a number and takin' away yo' name'. GS-2264 and Secross are brothers. However, instead of joining the Ark's Hand with his brother, Secross became a mercenary in leu of a traditional Mandalorian. GS-2264 no longer even remembers his name, as he's been known as a number since he joined the Ark's Hand.

Khelzer's shock and not joining the fight (info missed in the rough cut). Throughout the fight, Eddlyss continues to belittle his father with cunning remarks on how he let the dark side take control of him, and much of the conversation mirrors the words of Revan, the man that Khelzer has come to fear. This talk plus Eddlyss' mastery of both sides of the Force thanks to Revan's training as well as Eddlyss' skill at Jar'Kai cause Khelzer's fear to overcome him, and all he can see is the spirit of Revan destroying his apprentice. He fears that Revan was reborn (hah! pun) in the boy, and thus Khelzer becomes cowardly.

Revan words. Explained above.

Obi-Wan is being a bit vague when he says that his destiny was completed. He doesn't mean that killing his father, the dark side apprentice, was his destiny. He means that by fully overcoming his own emotional turmoil, he has succeeded. Another thing that I missed in the rough cut: Eddlyss doesn't want to kill his father despite his fall to the dark side. He wants to give him a second chance always. But when Arkus refuses to give himself once last chance to redeem himself, Eddlyss has no choice. Kind of dark, but the Force works in mysterious ways.

Finally, plotholes! Anakin should've been included in the Force ghost meeting, that's a dumb mistake on my part. Anakin and Revan are called upon through the Force to defeat the Dark Side once and for all, no special reason or 'how' yet.

I should change the statement Yoda makes. I didn't mean that Eddlyss was as powerful in the Force, I meant that he was as aware of the Force and tied to it as Yoda and Revan. What I had before makes Eddlyss stupidly OP .

The thing about the Gray Jedi I can retcon entirely. I recently read an epic theory that Snoke is just Darth Plagueis reincarnated into a new body (Plagueis is the manifestation of the Dark Side), so theoretically if he is now inhabiting Kylo, then Snoke doesn't even need to exist anymore. Eddlyss takes off on a journey to find the Gray Jedi (and also obtains Revan's purple lightsaber to replace the one he gives Nagini, as he returns to her to have a family in peace once his adventures are over), but that can be explained more in the actual story.

Bulgerra is the ice-forest planet Eddlyss and Oryonn travel to in the second book. Meant to say that in the second cut, but I guess it never made it in.

Finally, I'm continuously revising the ending soliloquy, so you can expect that a bit later.

Here's a couple versions of the ending speech. Will be improved as time goes on.

(V1) “Our destinies do not control us, and nor are they set in stone. Our destiny is crafted by who we are, and who we will become. We can try to escape our fates, but in the end we either lose ourselves in our cowardice and fall to the dark, or we face our fate with courage or even guarded fear. Yet though our futures may intertwine with those of others, our fates do not necessarily write the fates of others. The destiny of Luke Skywalker was to return his father, Darth Vader, to the light side of the Force. However, he did not know that when he fell trying to write a new destiny, his past actions would result in the spirit of Anakin Skywalker, his father returned to the light, arriving to avenge his son. The destiny of GS-2264, now known as Garrus, was to repent from his past actions as a member of the Arc’s Hand stormtroopers when he was fated to kill his own brother. And my fate was to redeem myself from teetering on the edge of the dark side, and finding the balance in the Force to overcome my own self doubt, and to defeat the fallen soul that was my father. My fate was only to find my place in the Force. And through the balance, the Force shall guide me. I am a Gray Jedi.”

(V2-NEWEST) “Our destinites are not written in stone, a list of vows and commands we must follow. Our destinies are crafted by who we are, and who we become. Perhaps we are not the hero of a prophecy that will shake the galaxy, but we can be the heroes of our own stories when we conquer our fears and become the greatest version of ourselves that we can. Luke Skywalker achieved his destiny by returning his father, Darth Vader, to the light side of the Force. Upon his defeat, the spirit of Anakin Skywalker arrived to avenge his son. GS-2264, or Garrus, repented from his actions as a Stormtrooper and helped to defeat the Sith following the fated murder of his own brother. And my destiny was to overcome my self-doubt and fear to find the balance in the Force, giving me the courage to bring justice to my own father. My destiny was a small one: to bring balance to myself. And through the balance, the Force shall guide me.

“I am a Gray Jedi.”

Also, a (mostly) comprehensive list of the sabers used by the characters as portrayed by the masterpieces that are Saberforge lightsabers. Link is below.

Link to the list here